I seem to find myself slowly hardening. Taking this once soft shell and molding it and crafting it into an adimentium fortress. And with the turning of the seasons and the of shoulders and my 'friends' sweet embrace I seemed to realize something.
***
You look at me and ask me whats on my mind, what am i thinking? I am incrediably calm and relaxed in your presence and for the first time in my life i know what its like to lay next to someone and not be thinking about anything. You brush the hair from my eyes and i look up to make contact with yours and you tel me I'm cute, which I naturally deny. And look at you with almost a squint in my eyes becuase youre the gorgeous one. We both smirk and I just you a gentle kiss on the nose, which he will repeat at least three more times before the next time I see you. In which case it will overlap itself again.
See lying with you I begin to reolise something I could stress about my job, or rent or food. But baby whats the point? I have you and that's all I need.I mean essentially you cannot provide me a shelter or food or heat but when I look in your eyes I am at home. Everything is going to be okay.
When you're hand is enclosing mine I feel like I'm on top of the world. No one will drag me down, and you think that the million little things you do are annoying and aggravating. I think they're precious.
With all that's been going on in my life and the sudden shifts and changes things are going to change substantially. But I have faith in you and us. For the first time in a long time I am happy, and warm and smiling, There's a skip in my step and my heart is beating to that upbeat drum that it's missed for such a long time.
Something about you, the way you look, touch and smell lifts me up. I have started to slow down, the pace I used to grace the sidewalks with has now becuase a slow stroll, because whats the hurry, I want to spend as much time with you as possible. Doing everything, I have so many plans for us, for the summer and I want them to be perfect. I am not a fan of classical rock nor would I call myself a Beatles fan at all, but they really pinned it when they said 'all you need is love' I finally get it.
In my twenty years of existence I have felt nothing like this. I have never been so happy and scared and enchanted by someone else. I just want to be my best for you. I want to try, I mean Ive got you but I don't wanna let myself go one single once, I want to always be the beautiful charming and talented young girl that I am. I never want you to see another girl in the eye that you see me. I don't want you to ever loose interest, feelings or heart for me.
I think I finally get it now and I couldn't be anymore ecstatic. I just wanna be with you, I don't care what it takes or what it means. I could never see myself being bored with you, or anything, You're perfect in ever aspect I would climb the highest mountain and scream it at the top of my lungs to tell you how I felt.I need you to understand that I'm not going to hurt you. I'm not like the other girls, and I don't ever want to be. No one else gets my stupid humor or how I think.
To be continued. . .
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