Neglect

That's what I've been doing to my blog.

So dear internet here are a few things as I've been promising for weeks now!!

Starting with Dun dun na na!!!
UPDATES!

So I thin it has become pretty evident that I have a boyfriend, im happy now. Its weird how something can come up on you so suddenly you dont see it, completely blind to its upcoming and bam, before you know it youre bathing every night with a gorgeous boy whom you spend ever spare second of your life with, staying up until 4 am talking and being so madly and hopelessly in love.

But enough of that im sure you all get the picture on that one.

My new point, im working a job I actually like with people who I actually think are really fucking cool. Its amazing hours but Im always looking for improvement, so I have a second interview at Urban Outfitters, we'll see how that goes. . .

Some of my friends ships I feel are weathering away with the winter months. It saddens me to know that we aren't going to have any of our sleepover, late night drives, or conversations on the roof anymore. I really miss you, you feel like home. You mean a million and ten things to me and I dont want to see you slipping away from me, as i feel that you already are. No one in my life has been able to care as you have or cared to speak up like you to show my stubborn blind eyes what i need to do to get my life on track. You hold me down, make me see hings for what they're really worth (myself included) and I can't shake the feeling that Im going to lose you. Joel if you even ever read this anymore I want you to know I miss you, and love you immensely, you know hoe much you mean to me, please shove aside a few minutes a week to hangout with me again. I miss you at my doorstep at 4am always concerned but happy to be talking to me nonetheless. I know im lost and im trying i really am. Im out of my rut and i want you to be here for me not just for the bad parts but the good ones too.

I haven't seen my family in five months now, with the acception of a few nights spend with my mother i miss her dearly and mothers day is coming up, I wish i would have thought about it enough to have put something together to send her, a card even. But i fail at being a good daughter.

I made a financial plan today, Should make me pretty broke but I can finally finish my arm and stomach, cover up my body so I can look how I want. Possibly be sacure? WE'll see.

My apartments a friggen mess, there's clothes everywhere, as i type my computers sitting on a box of art supplys and my keyboard on my lap over the side of my bed. There's dust everywhere from the renovations, and paint, bits of paper and forgotten novels thrown about. Ive been trying to read everyday, increase my IQ and vision. I have a million things on the go, and just finished a few pieces for an art show that Jodi is putting on. Needless to say more than a few things in my life are a little cloudy and messy. BUT for the first time in my life im getting things done :)

Since starting my new job two weeks ago, I have read a novel and a half, completed many pieces of art, fallen in love. Finally I found balance. Im doing those crumby adult things I need to do to get by but at the same time, im getting done those millions on tiny things i need to do and somehow always seem to not have NEGLIECT.

That being said I supose its appropriate to write a conclusion: (I'll keep it short and sweet)

Even though I'm stress free i still feel pressure,
Even though I'm 'successful' I still want to move forward.
Even though I'm content there are still a few material positions that I wish I could grip onto.

that being said. . .

Being a little broken, in love, messy and chaotic > Not working, eating all day, sleeping in until 4pm and living in Ontario


I can finally breath :)